I am Indigo

Monday, September 5, 2011

No Coincidence, Only Perfection

If there is one rule I hold to Be True over all else, it is that Everything happens for a Reason. Time and again I have found that every thing has meaning, every occurrence has Purpose, and every situation is Perfect. 

Of course, at times its hard to Know exactly what that 'Perfection' is right away. But in time its revealed. When I opened to this understanding, the more I believed this as Truth, the faster the Perfection was revealed. And so now I Know that there are no coincidences, there is only Perfection. As a confirmation to mySelf, the phrase is tattooed to my arm. This is very Real for Me. 

And so, I have been asking for the clarity to See the Perfection in a situation I knew was coming. I have a weekend of workshops planned for Melbourne, but coming up to the final week and still not enough bookings to make it worth the travel I have been asking 'What is the Perfection in this? What is the Reason?'

I can list a whole lot of outside reasons, problems with advertising, people in the database are busy, broke, not interested etc. But outside reasons have nothing to do with Me and my own learnings. And so, I ask, what reason am I not seeing. Perhaps the question could be better phrased : 'What is the learning that I have missed, or need to open to?' Understand dear Reader, that I don't believe in blame. I don't believe in 'poor me', and I don't believe in coincidence. I do believe in 'just not meant to Be', but with that my inquiring Indigo / Sagittarian mind asks at the same time - 'what is the reason that it is just not meant to Be?'

Business for me, like as in the real nuts and bolts of work and creating finances, has never been about the 'right things to do in business.' Anytime I've allowed the 'shoulds' of economics and marketing to guide my business moves, it has ended in drama, frustration and boredom all at once. I'm not built for the games of big-business. I'm just here to Be from the heart, to follow where I am called by the Stars and the Moon and the Earth and the Sun. It doesn't work for Me and my Company when I listen to the 'appropriate ways to incorporate work and business.'

And yet, You might think since I have learned this time and again, I might stop allowing decisions to be made by the promise of business growth in the old fashioned way. You might even think that I would stop with the glamour of what others might be able to offer. Because, if there's anything else I've learned within this Company, it's that relying on outside resources does not always help growth. Letting other entities latch and catch to this entity which I have created through lots of sweat and blood, always, always ends in grief! I have learned, that in matters of business, I must rely entirely upon mySelf to get it happening. And if I choose to outsource, it must be through very Real, very professional and very proven channels.

In saying that, I have collected a team of very wonder-full People who are very good at what they Do. I honour these People and keep them close, calling upon their services often and making fair and Real payment in return for service. For me, this is Real. I don't do business on favours and thank-yous. I believe in fair energy exchange, and professionalism above all things.  I have been reminded again that nothing worth having comes for free, and You get what You pay for. When there is no payment asked, how can one expect that anything of worth will be given..?

And so these are the things I already know about my Work. That I cannot function from a Real and Whole Space without feeling deep connection to All aspects of what I am Doing. That I must take matters into my own hands, or outsource to a trusted, proven entity who is very good at what they do. And that, everything happens for a Reason!

And so when the hundredth (possibly a Sagittarian exaggeration there - maybe closer to twentieth!) person wrote to me last week saying 'maybe next time you're presenting in Melbourne I'll be able to make it' I suddenly saw the Real-ness. Why did it take twenty people until I saw it? Because I was very still stuck on the expectation of 'should'. But by Friday, I had let go, I was open, and I received the understanding.

I don't feel a connection to Melbourne anymore. I grew up in Victoria, and spent half of my teens in Melbourne. I used to know the city like the back of my hand. I've swum in the Melbourne beaches, I've walked through the parks, and I have many blood-relations there. But the land does not call Me. Last year I went through some deep healing on Victorian land, more than once, and I feel that now, We are done. We have journeyed together for a long time, and She has taught me much. But We have been finished for some time now. It is not the Place or Space for Me. And so I can not Be there. 

And if I cannot Be there, I cannot teach there. I cannot share there. I cannot step onto land that I no longer feel a connection to, in the guise of sharing and Being, because I don't really want to Be there.

And so now I know why my workshops on the Gold Coast are heading towards booked out already (and they're not on til November) while I have struggled to make numbers in Melbourne. It is not about the validity, the Power, the worth of my Work. I Know and trust that my Work is Real, and I know that Women constantly grow and learn with what Lunation offers. No. It is simply, that Melbourne is not the Right Work for Me.  I love the Gold Coast area.

And so, dear Reader, Melbourne is cancelled for Me. And I breathe a deep sigh of relief as though a heavy weight is gone. I celebrate the Wisdom and Joy of Knowing, and understanding. I let go (AGAIN) of the need to perform, to give more than is returned, to fit into a box that I will never fit into. And I set my sight on what is Real, where I Do Feel Connection. 

Life is Perfect. There ain't no coincidence!